Oddly Shaped Box
I'm going to put myself in an oddly shaped box. I know I've written about boxes and compartmentalizing. Labels aren't always a bad thing. For me, right now, finding myself given labels is a good thing. I promise.
I am an HSP (highly sensitive person)
I am an empath
I am introverted
I am hypervigilant
Now that I've gotten that off my chest and out of the way, I need to remember that these things are part of me, it's not all of who I am, but they explain a lot about me. They paint a picture of my heightened emotional state. It details how social situations are draining and how I need to recharge. It tells how I can never "chill" because I'm always on the lookout for... something.
It also is a long way of saying I am constantly overwhelmed.
I am tired. SO TIRED.
I need those around me to legitimately care, to pay attention to these things. And no, you can't throw a useless piece of inspir-quote at me, and tell me I'm overreacting (but please try and tell me where that gets you with me). On the most basic level, to want to care about me, is to listen to me when I talk about these things. I'm telling you my inner most secrets. I know you don't pick up on my ridiculously subtle cues, but please know I am picking up on yours. I know what it means when I ask you a question, and you look down. I know when people are lying to me by the subtle nuances of body language. I know the way your shoulders shift away from me means that you're hiding something from me. I know that when I say "I'm tired" or "I need help" and I don't get it, that my heart breaks. My voice isn't loud, and when I speak and ask for help, I expect you to do for me as I would do for you when your voice is small.
These defining pieces explain how I react and interact to the world around me. I exist in an oddly shaped box. I'm okay with this. I'm okay with my emotions, and emoting. I'm okay with being odd, and abnormal.
Can you say the same?
(I hope so.)
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