white male aggression and the unflappable women who trigger them

This is going to be a rant/vent, so bear with me as I ramble. I had a situation at work where I had to deal with an aggressive and threatening man. I'm physically okay, but I'm shaken, I can't lie.

I came face to face with white male aggression. I have become this guys trigger. Why? I wish I knew exactly why but I speculate it's because I end up telling him the opposite of what he wants to hear, and that I am a woman.

My gender is his trigger.

My presence is his trigger.

Me being a trigger is not my goddamn problem.

I find myself in the crosshairs between responsibilities and personality. I firmly believe this guy to be a legitimate psychopath, and because of that, my intuition was cranking. I felt terrible. My chest hurt; my anxiety was through the roof with no ceiling in sight. My senses where heightened, and I just felt like I was on fire. It hit me....

He is my trigger.

He embodies the two most vile people I've had in my life. One being my mother, and two, my ex step mother. They are both rotten souls; both without light.

This enrages me because I took the bait. He baited me by grasping a hold of my empathy and strangled it. He strangled it unconscious. When it came back to, I knew that I had been had emotionally. At that point, I knew I had to set boundaries.

You know who didn't like those boundaries? Toxic male aggression guy. I'd like to say that I am unflappable in the face of this toxicity. I was scared shitless. I stood there and had to tell him "no" and to leave my office. He stood there, framed up and squared off to me. I stood firm, and honest. I felt I had to protect those around me. So I did.

One week later I had to deal with it again. This time, I was yelled at as he leaned over my desk trying to read confidential information on my computer. I again had to stand my ground and physically block him. He forced me to physically act against him, in doing so, giving him the green light and an excuse to act in the manner he did.

I've been on the verge of a panic attack since Wednesday. I keep forcing it down, but when I try to let it go, it won't erupt. I just want it to explode. It doesn't. I flinch at loud noises, and my hypervigilance is at an all time high. I watch for cars that might look like his, or license plates. I look at faces to see if i'll see him in public. What happens if I do? For a week and a half this has been my plight. I want it to stop.

I'm sure this will cease to be sometime soon, but for now, the PTSD is real.