9/19/2020: It Was A Damn Fine Day

 

      This has been a long time coming. We FINALLY met up, and oh boy was it fucking marvelous!!

Today, Saturday 19th, 2020.... today was a big day. We've been saying we were going to meet up for coffee "sometime soon" and today was that sometime. Today was the day our story came full circle. Today I learned just how precious compassion is.

You see, shitty social norms would tell us that we need to hate each other. We aren't supposed to be friends with the ex's of the men we've dated, and vice versa. Well dammit, we are here to change that norm. In fact, there's every reason why we should be friends. We are survivors. We poured ourselves out in order to fix someone that is beyond fixing. Someone who needs to fix himself, and stop preying upon women in hopes that they will be his savior. Not to quote Amy Winehouse but, if a man can have a theme song and mantra, "I can't help you if you won't help yourself," rings incredibly true. 

But this isn't about him, this is about US.

We met up like old friends just meeting up for coffee. We hugged, and it felt legitimately easy being in her presence. I felt safe because she had already saved me. I knew what she had already done for me and how she tried protecting me remotely. For this I knew I could trust her. It was easy to talk to her, and although we were masked, I could see her smile. We talked about our experiences with the ex, and how we both thought we could fix him. But again, this wasn't about him. We talked about him, about how we wished we could go into a book store, about our other experiences... we just talked. We hadn't been sitting for no more than ten minutes, when a familiar face drove by. I recognized her as his former therapist, and while her and I run in the same circles, I immediately felt that this couldn't be coincidence. I mentioned that his therapist had just driven by and smiled at us. Did she recognize the both of us? I'm sure she did. Did she know our lowest common denominator? Perhaps. I feel it's one of those "I know that you know, but neither of us will say anything" scenarios. I knew at that moment, this day was special. 

She asked me if I wanted to walk down to Commonplace, an amazing new clothing store in town. I gladly went. I wasn't sure what I was in store for. 

Fate always has new things to show us.

What did fate show me? I learned how fiercely close family and friends will rally around loved ones. I saw the true beauty in women supporting one another regardless of relations. I truly didn't know the reach of my words, but they were following. Like Bastian in The Neverending Story, I realized that my story was being read in real time. Okay, this might be reaching a bit, but it's damn close. A sister and family friend was following my trials and tribulations. They were with me as each hard hitting revelation came and forced lessons down upon me. The Writer too was with me. I know I've written about her already, but I cannot press upon you just how incredibly beautiful her actions were. Truly. In every aspect of it, it was nothing short of damn beautiful. My heart swelled as we laughed about the absurdity of the situation, grimaced at the tales, and clearly and verbally gave support. This is what we need more of in this world. 

Support one another. Be kind. Practice compassion and empathy. Love. Love like your life depends on it. Don't be afraid to apologize. Humility isn't a bad thing. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Be patient. Don't give up and don't lose hope. 

Thank you. This simple thank you doesn't begin to scratch the surface of my gratitude. The ability to take the shit that we were dealt and turn it into gold is alchemy. 

xoxo