Sprouting With Support (appreciation post)

It's time I thank you all. Back in January of 2019, the last thing I thought was that anyone would be reading my ramblings. I honestly didn't think I could be that open and let you into my mind and my mental rabbit holing, but I did. I did and people responded. I got messages of support and love. I got emails saying that you felt the same way, or experienced what I was experiencing. Most importantly, you all told me it was going to be okay, and that you supported me. I cannot express how dearly each and every email, comment, text or chat meant to me. Because of each one of you, I am stronger than I was 13 months ago. I am bolder than I was 13 months ago, and I believe in myself much, much, MUCH more than I did 13 months ago. 

You've been the soil to my roots. You've been the light to my leaves. You've been the rain that nourishes my growth... and I love you all for it. 

I've learned a lot about others, and myself over the past year. I learned that I give people the benefit of the doubt too much; and that some people take too much. I learned that I'm tired of being burned, and that a part of love and friendship is not about how much shit you can take from someone, and have it be swallowed for the sake of that relationship. It's not worth it, and the amount of energy that goes into holding on is best used in healing. 

I've also learned to speak my truths. I've learned to speak even when communication won't be reciprocated. It's not my responsibility to make someone engage in communication, but I do have the right to tell them how their actions have affected me. 

I'm not done growing. Far from it. I know I'll do some things right, lots of things wrong, and I'll learn lessons. I hope my viewpoints continue to change, and I pray I get called out if I'm an asshole, exclusive, or narrow minded. 

Here I am in 2020, accepting a spot in grad school for my Masters in Social Work. Here I am putting my final edit on my book. Here I am writing my second book, while work on my LSW credentials. Here I am believing I can, for the first time in my life, legitimately believing in myself. Not just doing to keep busy, but doing because I want to; because I know I can. 


For each of you that has done this for me in the smallest iota, I thank you, completely and humbly. I love you all.

THANK YOU!!