2020: Setting Goals In The Right Frame Of Mind
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| I call this shitty pic "Foreshadowing, 2020" |
I lied. I'm gonna do another post before the end of the year. This one just hit me this morning....
Don't worry about setting goals for the new year if you're not in the right frame of mind.
Look, goal setting is hard enough. The day to day tasks are daunting, and challenging. If you have enough on your plate already, and many of you do, don't set yourself up for failure and add a roll to your already stuffed plate.
New years goals have a tendency to be big and lofty. Oftentimes, they feel more like bucket list items rather than realistic, obtainable goals. Let's make them manageable bite-sized pieces of usefulness rather than mouthfuls of jawbreakers. Does depression make it hard to shower? Make a goal to shower a few more times a week. If you fail? Try again. Try again tomorrow. Or the next day. Want to go to the gym? Make that goal small. Plan to get dressed for the gym. Did you get dressed, but couldn't get out the door? That's okay. Try again tomorrow. Did you get dressed then drive to the gym, but couldn't get out of your car? That's okay too. Small manageable steps will help you get that basic framework built underneath you.
My plan is to get to writing again. It's been a slow process but I'm going to be gentle with myself, and give myself the gift of time to write book #2. Instead of looking like a big goal, I'm going to break it down. I gotta make it small, manageable bites. My first goal was to move notes from random places into one designated place, which was a Christmas present. Once I do that, then I'm giving myself the green light to pick up where I left off on chapter 3, or at least get that done. My weekly goals will be to get 2 hours of writing in a week. Does that sound low maybe? I'm sure it might to some, but whatever. If I get to 2 hours a week, then great. If I hit 3, then SUCCESS!! What if I get nothing done for writing, but I can say I did the dishes instead? Fuck it. I didn't write, but I got something done.
The tricky thing with goals is that they can become beasts. They can become more of a burden than the cure. They can make us feel worse than intended. They can also be accomplished, and completed.
If you want to set goals, then do so, but let's practice patience and gentleness. You come first.
New years goals have a tendency to be big and lofty. Oftentimes, they feel more like bucket list items rather than realistic, obtainable goals. Let's make them manageable bite-sized pieces of usefulness rather than mouthfuls of jawbreakers. Does depression make it hard to shower? Make a goal to shower a few more times a week. If you fail? Try again. Try again tomorrow. Or the next day. Want to go to the gym? Make that goal small. Plan to get dressed for the gym. Did you get dressed, but couldn't get out the door? That's okay. Try again tomorrow. Did you get dressed then drive to the gym, but couldn't get out of your car? That's okay too. Small manageable steps will help you get that basic framework built underneath you.
My plan is to get to writing again. It's been a slow process but I'm going to be gentle with myself, and give myself the gift of time to write book #2. Instead of looking like a big goal, I'm going to break it down. I gotta make it small, manageable bites. My first goal was to move notes from random places into one designated place, which was a Christmas present. Once I do that, then I'm giving myself the green light to pick up where I left off on chapter 3, or at least get that done. My weekly goals will be to get 2 hours of writing in a week. Does that sound low maybe? I'm sure it might to some, but whatever. If I get to 2 hours a week, then great. If I hit 3, then SUCCESS!! What if I get nothing done for writing, but I can say I did the dishes instead? Fuck it. I didn't write, but I got something done.
The tricky thing with goals is that they can become beasts. They can become more of a burden than the cure. They can make us feel worse than intended. They can also be accomplished, and completed.
If you want to set goals, then do so, but let's practice patience and gentleness. You come first.
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